super emo feeling

today i was at the airport studying, and when it was time for wang to book in, i suddenly felt heart-wrenched.

i dunno wad is wrong with me, it felt like i was gg to leave him for very very long. i dunno wad will happen to me if he were to die in training or sth (altho he goes to army to play psp these days), i think i will kill myself. its so strange tt we quarrel so many times, yet we still love each other so strongly. suddenly i really cant bear to let him go. and there he stood, unknowing of my internal struggles, grinning at me as i touch his face. i wan things to be forever the same now, when my parents are (relatively) young and healthy, my bf with me, loving me, doting on me, my frens all supportive, and loving me as much as i do them.

i tot i was being silly, but when i reached home, i gt an email from frenster, and tt hanbing has sent me a comment. she said tt she missed me, and tt she cant find new frens she can relate to. i used to feel tt way whenever i go into a new school. i tot i was the only immature one who are so reliant on "old" frens you can trust ur life with. i am so happy when i saw tt she miss me (she said so) and go thru the same things as me! guess i was too ashamed at all the pts in time when i felt alone but tried to be independent.

i wan all my love ones to noe, i will really try my best to be there for them. and in return, they must promise me not to bring harm upon themselves, and learn to appreciate themselves for being the special individual in my life, and tt each is beautiful, in my eyes:)

i gt a feeling i will be ashamed of this emo feeling very soon, but wad the hell.